A few days ago, Marie Kondo, the queen of tidying up, had a news-worthy revelation during the webinar promoting her latest book: “My house is messy.”
How ironic, you say. But the well-loved guru had good reasons for it. “Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times,” said Kondo, who welcomed her third child in 2021. “I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.”
The mama of 3 became a household name after the KonMari method of organization helped thousands of people across the globe clear the clutter in their homes… and in their life. Now, Marie Kondo is focusing on something more important that “sparks joy”: her children. Tidying up would have to take a back seat for now as life with three children has shifted her priorities from cleaning and organizing to intentionally spending time with them.
Because of this, mamas from all walks of life are feeling seen and validated. Yes, keeping a house squeaky clean and organized with active kids running around while you also try to tick off a million things in your to-do list is something even superheroes would have a hard time accomplishing!
As a mama of 3 (one is a newborn), reports analyst Ada Veneracion is consciously finding ways to not fall into the trap of postpartum depression. “I tidy up when I still have spare time, considering I have to work from home and take care of the kids and the house. But I don’t want to put that pressure on myself. I’ve learned to let go of unrealistic standards on motherhood. Life with kids is supposed to be messy after all.”
“I actually tried the KonMari method when it became a hit on Netflix pre-pandemic, and I was in my last trimester of pregnancy then,” shared e-commerce manager Con Pacia, a mama of a toddler. “But I have been slacking off as of late in terms of tidying up. Why? Because with a 2 year old, you have to clean up the mess every day. It gets tiring to some extent especially if you have other chores and work to do. It’s easier said than done for mamas who need to juggle so many things at once.”
Journalist May Dedicatoria, a mama of 2, said she can’t work properly when her table’s messy and filled with papers and stuff. “When Baby #2 came in the height of the pandemic, I didn’t need to keep it organized. I had to baby-proof and keep it clear at all times. Having a toddler can turn your house into a minimalist space — no vases and breakables around, no furniture with sharp points and edges — but you won’t be able to escape clutter. Toys and unfolded clothes are always present, especially when you don’t have a helper.” For this mama who’s been wired to decluttering and organizing, this toddler phase is non-negotiable. “I have to live with it and love it. It’s a beautiful mess!”
Similarly, digital marketer and mama of 1 Danice Saunar already knew that the organization guru’s method is not for her. “It’s simply because I have a 5-year-old son with a growing collection of toys and books. Trying to organize our stuff daily would drain the energy out of me more than spark joy because it’s a vicious cycle. I managed to find a way to tidy up our home that works for me and my family. And I think that’s what Marie Kondo might have realized too [after having three kids].”
For women’s rights advocate Atty. Allen Espino, this topic should open the discussion on the invisible load of motherhood. “The ‘revelation’ — in quotes because any mother would know that sometimes it's impossible to keep the house tidy, which should be okay, by the way — is a great opportunity to bring the focus back on why carework and housework should be a shared responsibility, especially when we have normalized mothers who are employed or who run businesses, on top of their nurturing responsibilities,” explained the mama of 2.
Atty. Allen furthered: “In general, I hope we can be forgiving of mothers who slack off. They are humans, after all. More importantly, I hope we can shift the conversation from hacks to make life easier for multiple-burdened mothers to how we can get their partners and the rest of the family to actually help out and ease some of these burdens. At the end of the day, keeping the home tidy should not be the sole responsibility of only one person. It should be the business of everyone who lives in it.”
We’d love to share your thoughts on this, mama!
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